What is “Disenfranchised” Grief and How to Cope
Written by Isabella Firetto, August 2025
I’m sure most of us have heard the term grief at least once in our lives. In fact, I’m sure most of us have even experienced the rollercoaster of intense emotions that may occur with experiences of grief. When you hear the word “grief,” what usually comes to mind? Most of the time, I would like to say that most of us think about the deep sadness and pain that comes with losing an important person in our life, whether that be a family member, a dear friend, or someone who we look up to. Much of the focus on grief work has been centered around this concept. But what if I told you that there’s another type of grief that exists, which doesn’t get much attention?
Well, this is what we would call "disenfranchised” grief. This type of grief consists of a loss that is not commonly acknowledged or even accepted as valid by society, which can prove to be very isolating and challenging for those who experience it as they often lack social support. Some common examples of disenfranchised grief would include the loss of a pet, the loss of a romantic relationship, the loss of an important job, having a miscarriage/stillbirth, or even the loss of a childhood home. All of these experiences have something in common, as they are all marked by feelings of loss and grief, but it’s not the "typical" grief that is most often heard of. Sometimes, those who go through these experiences may feel isolated and alone, as others in their life may dismiss their experiences as being “not that serious” or “invalid.” The invalidation of these grief experiences is a huge issue, and it can unfortunately have a negative impact on so many people, leading to increased feelings of depression, loneliness, stigma, and a lack of social support.
The truth is: “disenfranchised” grief is still grief, and these experiences are just as valid as those who are grieving the loss of a person. It is important that those who experience this grief are effectively supported.
These are a few strategies for those who may be going through this type of grief, and ways to increase resilience and coping as well as promote healing:
Recognizing and validating your feelings: It is so important to acknowledge that your grief is completely understandable and valid, despite what others may have to say about it.
Journaling or creating rituals to memorialize: Journaling can provide you with a safe outlet to discuss your thoughts and emotions related to the loss. Creating rituals can help you find ways to memorialize and honor the loss in some way that will help you gain any necessary closure.
Engaging in self-care: Prioritizing your own healing and creating time for yourself to incorporate more activities/hobbies/interests that bring you joy is crucial.
Practice self-compassion: Many times, grief can hit us like a truck. We may experience a myriad of different emotions, ranging from anger, to depression, to regret, to acceptance. These emotions are all a normal part of the grief journey. One day may feel okay, the next may feel unmanageable. It is important to recognize that this is not a step taken backwards, this is a common aspect of growing through loss. The journey to healing is often non-linear.
Seek out support groups: Building social connections with others who are going through similar experiences can help combat feelings of isolation.
Seek out counseling or a mental health professional: A mental health professional can help you with your grief journey by providing you with a safe space to explore and process your emotions, while guiding you towards your healing journey.
Every single person’s grief journey is unique, and all of these experiences are deserving of support. Healing is possible. I encourage anyone who is struggling with grief to reach out for support if you need it. Grief is hard, raw, and painful; but you don’t have to do it alone (and you shouldn’t have to).
