Beyond the Script: The Story Only You Can Write
Part 2
Written by Ronilen Nieva, MS Intern, July 2025
A Four Part Blog Series: Identity and the Quiet Forces That Shape Who We Are
Welcome back,
What if the story you’ve been living isn’t the only one you could tell? Let’s explore.
Have you ever had a moment when something you’ve poured your time, energy, and heart into, something you believed was solid, suddenly crumbles? Maybe it was a relationship, a career, or a version of yourself carefully built around the expectations of who you were supposed to be? Were you taught that life had a clear path? Maybe fulfillment was supposed to come once you finally found your soulmate, landed the right job, got the promotion, earned the degree, or bought the house? That if you finally got that one thing, you’d finally feel secure, complete and whole? What did you believe was your role?
Maybe you believe your role was to be someone who had to be strong. The one who kept things together when no one else could. Maybe you became the provider, the caretaker, the peacekeeper? The one who carried the weight of everyone else’s needs without questioning it. Never really considered if you ever had space for your own.
Maybe you were convinced that certainty meant stability. That if you did what you were supposed to, everything would fall into place, life would feel complete, that if you met expectations, and that everything would be okay.
But did it? When that foundation crumbles, what’s left?
In the aftermath, you're confronted with the foundation you had been building, what you once believed would offer certainty and fulfillment. But then comes the deeper realization:
Was I living a life that was truly mine or one shaped by expectations I never questioned, roles I quietly accepted, and narratives passed down without a second thought?
Because when the version of ourselves we once knew no longer fits, it can feel like a quiet unraveling, an ending that can stir up waves of guilt, disappointment, fear, anxiety, and even despair. But even in that discomfort, we are not powerless. If we pause and look closely, allowing the dust to settle, we will find ourselves standing at a crossroads, where a quiet but undeniable truth begins to reveal itself.
We have a choice. We can cling to familiar patterns, trying to rebuild what no longer serves us or we can challenge the narratives we've inherited, question the roles we were assigned, and consciously step into who we truly want to become. When the familiar falls away, the real work begins. Not just recovering from loss, but choosing what to reclaim, what to release, and what to rebuild from the ground up.
This is where agency takes form, in the quiet, deliberate act of deciding how to move forward, in your own voice, on your own terms.
If you’re ready to become the author of your own life, to rewrite your story on your own terms, then grab your journal, pick up your pen and let’s get to writing!
Let’s begin by exploring beyond who you think you are and dig deeper into why you see yourself that way, let's begin with these questions:
What beliefs about yourself have stayed the same over time? Where did they come from?
When you reflect on who you are, do you find yourself measuring your worth by how others perceive you, like by the roles you play, the responsibilities you carry, the standards you feel pressured to meet or by something that feels truly yours?
When you strip away the labels, career, roles, relationships… Who remains? Who are you at your core? What stays the same when everything else fades?
Now that we’ve looked more closely at how you see yourself, let’s explore some of the hidden stories that might be getting in the way of the life or person you’re trying to become.
What parts of your identity feel truly yours, and what feels shaped by others?
Have you ever felt like you were living someone else’s version of success instead of your own?
What happens if you let go of the version of yourself built to please others?
As you begin to untangle these inherited narratives, let your next steps be guided by deeper questions, not about who you’ve been for others, but who you’re ready to become for yourself. With each step forward, ask yourself:
What would you choose for yourself if there was no pressure to meet expectations?
What would I choose if fear wasn’t holding me back?
What kind of person do you want to grow into, not just in what you accomplish or in what you achieve, but in alignment with your most authentic self?
We are shaped and molded by many influences from our family values, societal expectations, and cultural norms. But we are not bound by them.
Self-awareness is the moment the pen returns to your hand. Your identity isn’t a fixed-script. It’s not defined by your past or by what others expect of you. When you recognize the narratives you’ve taken on, you gain the power to question them and decide whether to keep writing the same storyline or begin crafting one that finally feels like yours. Through reflection, you reclaim who you are, not as a role cast by someone else, but as a character you choose, shape, and become.
As you reflect on your answers, let them settle. And as you allow things to reveal themselves, begin to notice:
What feels freeing?
What feels uncomfortable?
What feels like an invitation to become more of yourself?
What part of you is ready for something new?
Standing at the crossroads, fully step into your role as the author. Take up the pen and embrace the power to rewrite your story and create the life that’s truly yours. Remember, you are the author here. So… what chapter comes next?
